Man-Thing
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IMDB rating: 4.00 Plot: Agents of an oil tycoon vanish while exploring a swamp marked for drilling. The local sheriff investigates and faces a Seminole legend come to life: Man-Thing, a shambling swamp-monster whose touch burns those who feel fear. |
Actors: Le Nevez Matthew,Thompson Jack,Paratene Rawiri,O’Lachlan Alex,Bastoni Steve,Mammone Robert,Thompson Patrick,Zappa William,Batchelor John,Bliss Ian,Leonard Brett,Coyne James,Action,Horror,Sci-Fi,
For any adoptees who've lost an adoptive parent to death…?
I am raising my 28 months old son who is adopted by myself now that his adoptive dad passed away December 22. I’m also reuniting with his first parents, and his first dad wants to be part of his life and do the "man" thing with him, and I’m open to him being with them more in the future.
I’m torn between keeping the memory of his "Daddy" who has been there every step of the way, and who was the world’s best father, loving him and being a hands on dad. Is the loss of an adoptive parent different than the loss of a biological one? Will he remember the daddy who took care of him so greatly, or will he move more towards his biological one. His daddy’s death was very sudden after working a 10 hour day, he passed quietly in his sleep. He was working out of town for the first night when he passed.
I lost my adoptive father when I was still a kid. I miss him terribly but nothing will take away the memories and shared history we had.
Loving him and keeping his memory doesn’t stop me from loving other people, including my natural family. I’m sure your son will grow close to his father, he is a huge part of him and it’s wonderful that he will be able to grow up with the genetic mirroring that so often gets dismissed as unimportant.
It’s gonna be alright 
H****** | Jan 19, 2010
I lost my Amom in 2004. It was devastating. I think if you love someone, truly do, the pain is just as bad, even if there are no bonds of blood. On the day of her death and her birthday, i always cry.
Lady Rowan | Jan 19, 2010
I was much older when I lost my amom, but very much still a child at 14. The loss was more intense initially since I had been raised by her but looking back 18 years later they were similar in many ways. For many years I thought my abandonment issues were a direct result of my amoms death, now I see it was the combined loss that started with the loss of my natural mother at birth and grew with the death of my adoptive mother. Shortly after my amom passed I created a fantasy, a life lie if you will, to provide some relief from being left motherless twice in my short life. In my mind I concocted a natural mother, many siblings and an entire extended family, I told everyone I knew that I was in reunion and started using a name I gave myself but told people was what this fake mother had wanted to call me. I went so far as taking baby photos of myself and passing them off as my sisters while taking photos of my adoptive brother to say they were my brothers. I carried out this twisted fantasy until I was 20 and actually did find myself in reunion. Obviously your son will have no reason to go to such extremes as he will have knowledge of where he came from but I think my story demonstrates how a child can quickly replace reality with fantasy in a desperate bid to cope with loss they can not comprehend. At 28 months he is probably not really aware of what has happened, just that his daddy hasn’t come home but I suspect the emotions are similar in that even understanding what happened you don’t fully understand how it is affecting you as a child. I’m sure many people have told you all the things you should watch out for and how best to help him cope with his loss so I won’t bother
The day of my amom’s memorial marked the last time I was able to actually talk about her. Her family shut me out after that and I haven’t spoken with any of them more than a handful of times since. This was the single most isolating part of the experience. If at all possible try to keep your husband’s family involved. Also my adad moved on very quickly after my amom’s death, moving us into a new home with a new woman less than 6 months later, marrying her 4 months after that. This created confusion for me and left me feeling like I wasn’t suppose to remember my mom. I doubt you will go that route but keep in mind that your son isn’t able to understand who his ndad is or what the relationship is or should be between them. For quite a while I would keep it light and avoid using the term Dad.
As far as him remembering his father I hate to say it but he likely won’t. He is very young and even thought I was 14 I have lost almost all of my memories of my amom, the first time I realized I could no longer remember the sound of her voice cut me to the core but it is to be expected. Memories fade and very few people have solid memories from their toddlerhood at all. The best thing you can do is keep his memory alive through stories, photos and videos if you have them. My girls don’t know their brother but they do know his memory through my memories and my eldest tells me that is very powerful and helps her feel a bit connected with a brother she has never met and possibly never will.
Again I am very sorry for you loss.
Andraya searchin for Jay11/29/94 | Jan 19, 2010
I am adopted, and I personally think that if I had lost either of my adoptive parents, growing up, I would have been devastated. Keep the memory alive of your husband, and allow your son to have a male figure in his life. He will know he was doubly loved.
Abby | Jan 19, 2010
Having only lost my adad, I can’t yet say whether it’s as ‘bad’ to lose an aparent as it is to lose a bparent, but my theory is that losing anyone you care about is going to leave a that-person-shaped hole in your soul, and there is no easier or harder if you love them.
I’d say let him have the relationship with bdad (heck, I’d say that even if your partner hadn’t died), as that should be entirely separate from the relationship he had with his adad anyway.
People aren’t interchangeable!
7rin | Jan 20, 2010
I lost my Adad when I was 18, suddenly as well from a heart attack. I can’t say from personal experience that it was different than losing a bio-parent since I don’t know mine. But I can say that I didn’t think anything like "My adoptive father is dead", I thought "My dad is dead".
I would do both with your son. He will remember his dad, and he should. But also, he can benefit from having his bio-dad there for him. It’s nothing you need to be torn between.
And I’m so sorry you lost your husband.
LH | Jan 20, 2010
I haven’t any experience of what you’re going through so only answer from personal experience of relatives dying. One of my great grandmothers died when I was very young as did some great uncles and aunt. What has helped me to remember them are photographs and stories that my parents told me over the years. The key to this is being able to keep the happy memories of "Daddy" alive and keeping relationships in the order that they have been. Your son’s adoptive dad will always be his dad, first dad is his other dad who hasn’t raised him but wants to be part of his life. Boys do need a dad or a male figure in their lives.
Pip | Jan 21, 2010
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